2024 here we are, ready or not. It's well after midnight now in my time zone and the house is winding down after channel jumping for the past few hours to find entertainment that wasn't cringeworthy or ultimately annoying gibberish. I sometimes catch myself in these situations and wonder when it was that I finally took that last step to having the mindset of "being old now," but I feel it was sometime after my second marriage...sometime after watching my step son grow into a young man with his own life goals...and sometime after the long road to becoming a foster parent, staying married, managing a caseload as a QIDP, and not losing my ever loving, disorganized mind :) I joke lightheartedly, because becoming a foster parent has filled my heart with love in a way that has healed my soul, but it's also a very active process to not only parent, but to help guide a child through a path that hasn't always been easy. It all happened very quickly and with a few blinks of my eyes and a pair of eyeglasses later, "life" was happening instead of being some ultimate plan for the "someday." I'm not naive enough to believe that it hasn't been happening all along, but it's less haphazard and I'm flying blindly into the wind a little less often. Remember, it's probably the glasses..
As with my job, there is much confidentiality in foster parenting, so I will not get into the details in any form. I will say that it takes a lot of effort, planning and commitment between two partners to work through different parenting styles, philosophies, and ideaologies. It takes continued education and training. It takes a lot of work to focus on solutions instead of being the one who is "right." Give up on being "right" because there is no one "right" way to anything, even if you are the most stubborn person in the world. Being on the other side of what I would consider a mountain of work committing to the long-term learning and "rededication" as I've termed it, and getting through some of the rougher moments that really tested our marriage, it's easier to discuss the importance of counseling and self-care.
Most people I know balk at the idea of these terms and their concepts, but then I also see the same people who say they don't need counseling or don't have time for themselves experiencing extremely high rates of burnout and wearing themselves thin to the point of breaking. Hell, I have been that very same person for many years in my past. It wasn't until my mid-thirties that I finally started listening to what people had been saying all along. I started going to the doctor, making time for things important to me, drinking more water, and saying goodbye to a few friendships that were more like stomping all over me as the proverbial doormat masked as friendship. So here we are, all participating in some form of counseling to heal our hearts in our independent lives and the lives that we share together. It hasn't been a perfect road, or even a pretty one, but it's progress and all I ask of myself is to keep trying and doing so with intention to be healthier each day. Awfully transparent of me to share this here, I know. If there's something that I am not, it is someone who has a lack of words.
So, what does this all have to do with crochet? Well my friends, this venture, Salubrious Studios as I name my humble small side hustle of a hobby-turned business-turned hobby at the moment to maybe future business again in a few years--Salubrious Studios has been my outlet to create and express myself in a medium that speaks to my upbringing (my grandmother taught me to crochet, it was something we did weekly each weekend among gardening tasks, gathering eggs, and living connected to country life). It's a skill I've refined for years and continue to refine. It's stress relief and expression. It's something that keeps my mind healthy through every storm that I've weathered. It's now a skill that I've passed on to the kiddo and I've never been prouder to be able to do so. I've ebbed and flowed with how I'm able to dedicate my time. I've sold on Etsy under two storefronts, and would make a few hundred a month here and there, but not enough to consider it a steady cash flow. I don't think I ever was able to fully dedicate myself to a "business status" in my mind, as I never had time to fully dedicate, even though I would say I tried for a few months at a time, but life would get busy in other areas and make it all fairly impossible to progress. In a few years, when the house becomes an empty nest again, I'll consider giving it a go again. I truly want to create and sell crochet patterns and reclaim yarn to sell and use. That's where my heart is in the game of business strategy.
In the meantime, I'll keep up with my Instagram and continue to be inspired by the many talented artists there. I'll continue working projects for fun and for relatives or friends. I'll continue trying to use up my stash and donating yarn to those who are learning or otherwise unable to purchase their own. And even still, will continue making hats for the local shelter in the winter months. I no longer attend my church group on Thursday nights, but it was a great opportunity to be inspired by creative women who are invested in their faith and nourished my own faith in The Lord. Since becoming a foster parent, I've been unable to attend as homework assistance has (happily, and with appreciation) taken priority over social groups.
Well, I've rambled enough for a good chunk of time here. I'm hoping to blog more, as I've purchased a new laptop for myself for the first time in ages. Anyhow, here's to moving forward in 2024, intentionally and always striving for a healthier, healing life.
